30 May 2011
I presented!!!! I'm done, finished, completed, and if I knew other languages I'd culture you with that! But before I get annoying with repeating myself here, lets move on! So, I presented my recast. It went really well, I mean besides me shaking in front of my peers. I rocked it out. Yes, Aaron had a critique, he said I need to speak up. Which I understand and knew would be my down fall, but he did blame it on his Heavy Metal listening, so lets go with that. He said it not me, I'm just reiterating. That poor man gets so much crap from me, but I truly appreciate him as my professor. He has helped me through this writing process. And without Aaron I would have never found my ethos! And my newly found ethos came in handy when I presented my recast. I was so nervous, I don't do that whole public speaking thing. Kinda why I signed up for English 102, not public speaking. Not that I'm bitter about giving a presentation. The class however seemed to enjoy the poems, and that's all that matters. I was so thankful that when Aaron asked what the class thought people talked! You have no idea how much that meant to me. You didn't have to say something nice, but you did. You were all very supportive and had great feed back. I hate the awkward silence after my presentation, I always rethink my presentation and question everything. So I feel good about this one because people talked and Aaron seemed to like it. Now, I'm done. I've edited my papers, and hopefully they're prefect. Lets be real, I'll be editing those papers until I turn them in on Thursday! So, I'm ALMOST done with English! In a weird, twisted, sick, dark way...I'm kinda gunna miss it! I know, there is something wrong here but I admitted it, and isn't that the first step? But I got really into this blogging thing. Ok, so I'm not gunna miss the class but the blogging...yeah! Don't judge me, because I'm gunna be honest with you. Ready? I think I might keep blogging after this. It's fun! And it relieves press/stress. Just being able to talk or write about whatever is kinda the only thing that has kept me sane this quarter! So, you might be done with Blogger but I think I just found my new best friend...sorry Katie!
Love,
Relieved...kinda!
Monday, May 30, 2011
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
College is Stress on Crack!
24 May 2011
So...what?! Here I sit extremely close to ending my Freshmen year of college, and my professors are not helping me end my year but rather expand the chaos. I have exams in every class or at least some huge project due. Yay, I love college (said sarcastically)! I enjoy college and everything it has to offer but lets be real...the best part of college is the social aspect. Now, yes I am to school for college and a nerd at heart, but I know how to socialize as well and rather enjoy it! But like at the end of every quarter the professors cram everything into the last two maybe, three weeks of class. I going crazy. I go to class from 9am to 4pm almost everyday, and then go to the library to study for the night. I would love to spend one full day not doing anything related to school. Just one day a week where I did not have to worry about ethos, rhetoric, compounds, derivatives, the Vietnam War, or social psychology. Tell if this is too much, and I asking for too much? Are my request, not even demands, but desires to much to ask for? I'm just tired. Tired of doing this every day, week, month. I need a break. I need time away. School has never drained me so much as this year has. It's stress on crack! You just go go go, all the time! Sleeping becomes a luxury. Eating becomes time consuming and annoying. Talking becomes over done. Faces get old. I just want some time where I can refresh. Where I don't have to talk to my roommates about their day. Where I don't have to listen to a professor for three hours a week, because its getting hard to concentrate and the material is starting to merge together. Not connect and make sense but more like mixing two different colored paints that are not complementary and getting black. My mind is a black hole, an abbess of academia. Save me! I'm a nerd and proud of it. I love school, I really do. But the nerd in side me is really starting to loath itself. I get like this at the end of every quarter. I get burned out by studying and research and papers. I get tired of the same routine of class, studying, practice/work out, and finding a time to eat or sleep. I'm just ready for a change of scenery, a change of pace, and change of mind set! So sit back, relax, and try to breath! I can do this, I can finish this year with my sanity in check, right? I mean, I didn't enter this place completely sane but I can at least leave here with the same corks that makes me, me...right? I'm crazy enough, I do not need school to help in that department!!!
Love,
S.O.S. (Save Our Sanity)
P.S. Its weird and even more insight into the fact that I'm a nerd. I'm a bandie, I'm a member of the UC Color Guard and find band music calming basically because its a constant. The music, the notes, the measures, its within grasp if you can read music or even listen to it. So as I sit in McMicken the Alma Mater starts to ring, and I find myself singing along. I love this place and even in time of choas it sets my mind at ease.
So...what?! Here I sit extremely close to ending my Freshmen year of college, and my professors are not helping me end my year but rather expand the chaos. I have exams in every class or at least some huge project due. Yay, I love college (said sarcastically)! I enjoy college and everything it has to offer but lets be real...the best part of college is the social aspect. Now, yes I am to school for college and a nerd at heart, but I know how to socialize as well and rather enjoy it! But like at the end of every quarter the professors cram everything into the last two maybe, three weeks of class. I going crazy. I go to class from 9am to 4pm almost everyday, and then go to the library to study for the night. I would love to spend one full day not doing anything related to school. Just one day a week where I did not have to worry about ethos, rhetoric, compounds, derivatives, the Vietnam War, or social psychology. Tell if this is too much, and I asking for too much? Are my request, not even demands, but desires to much to ask for? I'm just tired. Tired of doing this every day, week, month. I need a break. I need time away. School has never drained me so much as this year has. It's stress on crack! You just go go go, all the time! Sleeping becomes a luxury. Eating becomes time consuming and annoying. Talking becomes over done. Faces get old. I just want some time where I can refresh. Where I don't have to talk to my roommates about their day. Where I don't have to listen to a professor for three hours a week, because its getting hard to concentrate and the material is starting to merge together. Not connect and make sense but more like mixing two different colored paints that are not complementary and getting black. My mind is a black hole, an abbess of academia. Save me! I'm a nerd and proud of it. I love school, I really do. But the nerd in side me is really starting to loath itself. I get like this at the end of every quarter. I get burned out by studying and research and papers. I get tired of the same routine of class, studying, practice/work out, and finding a time to eat or sleep. I'm just ready for a change of scenery, a change of pace, and change of mind set! So sit back, relax, and try to breath! I can do this, I can finish this year with my sanity in check, right? I mean, I didn't enter this place completely sane but I can at least leave here with the same corks that makes me, me...right? I'm crazy enough, I do not need school to help in that department!!!
Love,
S.O.S. (Save Our Sanity)
P.S. Its weird and even more insight into the fact that I'm a nerd. I'm a bandie, I'm a member of the UC Color Guard and find band music calming basically because its a constant. The music, the notes, the measures, its within grasp if you can read music or even listen to it. So as I sit in McMicken the Alma Mater starts to ring, and I find myself singing along. I love this place and even in time of choas it sets my mind at ease.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Conference w/ Aaron
17 May 2011
So I met with our fearless leader and I think it went quite well! Don't get me wrong the ten minutes of him reading the paper I had spent ten days writing was nerve racking. Sitting there in silence while he judged my paper and by extension me, not the highlight of my day, but I got through it. To be honest the only thing that made me calm down was analysing his office. I have never seen a professors office with such decor, and I liked it! It gave me confidence that even though my paper could be the worst piece of writing the English department has ever encountered, we could still have an in depth conversation about "Rocky Horror Picture Show." That's right, I creeped. What else was I suppose to do while he read through my paper? Yes, he also had "Kiss" memorabilia and even though I appreciate the length of Gene's tongue and the plat form boots as much as the next person, anyone can have a conversation revolving around the most popular hard rock band. No what would set me apart was Dr. Frank-N-Furter and the "Time warp" Dance. Now we all knew that Aaron is not like any other professor. Lets be real, no other professor would let us call them by their first name and would not be as honest about their opinion on the issues in modern day society. Aaron is cool. Back to the conference, even though I had thought through a well planned back up plan it was not needed. I know, I even had my dance shoes on, and for nothing! But its probably for the best, I mean the class is about the ten page research paper. I tend to forget that though. The paper seems like such a small part considering all the other work we've done thus far. However, I see how it all relate, well I see how most of it is relevant. And Aaron had had some great insight for my paper. I knew it wasn't perfect or even great, but he helped me fill in the gaps. I have an issue knowing what I want to say but it doesn't show up on paper in the same manor. Also, (it's very exciting, or at least just for me) I finally figured out this literature review thing! I didn't understand the stupid thing and I know I'm calling it stupid just because I didn't understand it. Aaron however explained it again for the 100th time, I -put that poor man through so much crap...sorry! But now I get it!! Victory! I mean who ever said the third time was the charm had never met me, I like to defy the laws of nature and got further, so the forth time is the charm for this girl! Now comes the challenge...EDITING! I hate editing, all most as much as I hate writing the draft. But at least part of the hard work is over. Now I just have to clarify because all my ideas and proofs are written I just have to prove them, so that my audience understands them. Hey, they make sense to me, it makes sense in my head...oh wait, that's where the disconnect is! It makes sense now, oops! Ok, you persuaded me, I'll edit the paper! You drive a hard bargain but I see you point.
Love,
I defy the laws of nature and society!
So I met with our fearless leader and I think it went quite well! Don't get me wrong the ten minutes of him reading the paper I had spent ten days writing was nerve racking. Sitting there in silence while he judged my paper and by extension me, not the highlight of my day, but I got through it. To be honest the only thing that made me calm down was analysing his office. I have never seen a professors office with such decor, and I liked it! It gave me confidence that even though my paper could be the worst piece of writing the English department has ever encountered, we could still have an in depth conversation about "Rocky Horror Picture Show." That's right, I creeped. What else was I suppose to do while he read through my paper? Yes, he also had "Kiss" memorabilia and even though I appreciate the length of Gene's tongue and the plat form boots as much as the next person, anyone can have a conversation revolving around the most popular hard rock band. No what would set me apart was Dr. Frank-N-Furter and the "Time warp" Dance. Now we all knew that Aaron is not like any other professor. Lets be real, no other professor would let us call them by their first name and would not be as honest about their opinion on the issues in modern day society. Aaron is cool. Back to the conference, even though I had thought through a well planned back up plan it was not needed. I know, I even had my dance shoes on, and for nothing! But its probably for the best, I mean the class is about the ten page research paper. I tend to forget that though. The paper seems like such a small part considering all the other work we've done thus far. However, I see how it all relate, well I see how most of it is relevant. And Aaron had had some great insight for my paper. I knew it wasn't perfect or even great, but he helped me fill in the gaps. I have an issue knowing what I want to say but it doesn't show up on paper in the same manor. Also, (it's very exciting, or at least just for me) I finally figured out this literature review thing! I didn't understand the stupid thing and I know I'm calling it stupid just because I didn't understand it. Aaron however explained it again for the 100th time, I -put that poor man through so much crap...sorry! But now I get it!! Victory! I mean who ever said the third time was the charm had never met me, I like to defy the laws of nature and got further, so the forth time is the charm for this girl! Now comes the challenge...EDITING! I hate editing, all most as much as I hate writing the draft. But at least part of the hard work is over. Now I just have to clarify because all my ideas and proofs are written I just have to prove them, so that my audience understands them. Hey, they make sense to me, it makes sense in my head...oh wait, that's where the disconnect is! It makes sense now, oops! Ok, you persuaded me, I'll edit the paper! You drive a hard bargain but I see you point.
Love,
I defy the laws of nature and society!
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Recast Idea
So for my recast I'm going to write a series of poems. I know, now just hold on and listen! Poems can be dry, boring, and complex. However, I feel insulted you would think that of my writing, I thought you knew be better than that by now. The plan is simple, well kinda I mean we are talking about poetry here, not really a simple form of writing. But the think I love about poetry is that there is no right or wrong way to expose the feelings convade by the writing. Poetry can be put to any meter and has a way of expressing powerful and fericaly intense emotion in just a few short stanza. Poetry is short and to the point, kinda like yours truly! It says what it needs to say without drawing it out, unless you read "The Raven" by Eadgar Allen Poe. I promise no "nevermore" in my poems! And even though some of the most powerful poems are short and simple, Shakespeare (my favorite author! I know it's sounds like a dumb pick up line, but it's true. I have a weak spot for englsih writers Shakespeare, Dickens, ect. Their elveated language and layered writer is like a crime case. You have to sift through the evidence to understand the motive, what happened, and why!) did not take that route. Even though I love his work and have read many of them, I do not plan to follow in his foot steps. It would be impossible to challenge the greatest English writer, and an insult to even try. So I'm going to write my own story, in my own way. I have written and studied peotry since elementary school, yes there has been years of brain washing that can now no longer be reversed. I am no poet, I do not understand all poetry, and my poem are not something to send to a publisher. I enjoy writing, so thats how I'm going to recast my argument. I will write four poems. Each from a different point of view, and each will be a different proof. The sister poem will be justice, the mother poem will be religion, the father poem will be detterence, and the last poem will be from hte point of view of the murder. The next step is not set in stone but I think I will then have different people read the poems, as if from the different point of views. These reading will then be recorded and made into a CD. Even though I hate writing those playlist for Aaron, it inspirited me to make a playlist of poems for my recast. So, thank you Aaron for the inspiration!
Love,
You'll like poetry when I'm done, I hope?!
Love,
You'll like poetry when I'm done, I hope?!
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
So much to do...so little time!
3 May 2011
So what are we suppose to do? We have to write the research paper (kinda the reason I'm here), starting with the proofs. The I have to write a refutation to an argument I haven't even developed yet. I mean I know what my main points are and what my thesis is but I haven't written the paper yet. It's kinda hard to write a counter argument when you don't have the first argument. Then I have to write a recast of the argument, again the argument we haven't even gotten to yet! But not only do I have to figure out my argument but now I have to figure out how to present it. I thought the presentation was the eight to ten page paper, my bad! I have no idea what to do. I don't know how to make a video, and have no ideas who to present the death penalty in a video without it being completely morbid and horrifying. A power point is boring as states by Aaron. A song requires talent within the musical field. Can't do a picture journal of the electric chair. And I am horrible at public speaking. I am the worst at public speaking, if there was an award for biggest loser in the category of public speaking I would take home the prize every time. I'm not good at much and great at even less, but I can fail at public speaking like no other, it's a skill I've prefected over the years. We will see how this works out....I'll be sure to keep you posted.
Love,
I signed up for an English class, not Public Speaking!
So what are we suppose to do? We have to write the research paper (kinda the reason I'm here), starting with the proofs. The I have to write a refutation to an argument I haven't even developed yet. I mean I know what my main points are and what my thesis is but I haven't written the paper yet. It's kinda hard to write a counter argument when you don't have the first argument. Then I have to write a recast of the argument, again the argument we haven't even gotten to yet! But not only do I have to figure out my argument but now I have to figure out how to present it. I thought the presentation was the eight to ten page paper, my bad! I have no idea what to do. I don't know how to make a video, and have no ideas who to present the death penalty in a video without it being completely morbid and horrifying. A power point is boring as states by Aaron. A song requires talent within the musical field. Can't do a picture journal of the electric chair. And I am horrible at public speaking. I am the worst at public speaking, if there was an award for biggest loser in the category of public speaking I would take home the prize every time. I'm not good at much and great at even less, but I can fail at public speaking like no other, it's a skill I've prefected over the years. We will see how this works out....I'll be sure to keep you posted.
Love,
I signed up for an English class, not Public Speaking!
Where were you when the world stop turning, and started again?!
3 May 2011
9-11! It was a warm day, but something seemed off. I was in the forth grade and I didn't understand what was wrong, but I knew that something was not right. My peers were being called out of class one by one, not returning, they were being sent home. The playground was empty, and almost half of my class was gone. The teachers were having private meetings in the halls and whispers filled the classrooms. No one would share the secret that would bond us for the next ten years, possible more. After returning from lunch my teacher, Mrs. Morgan stood in front of the classroom fearful of her next words. She struggled to find the words to tell twenty ten year olds what tragic has just occurred. Understanding what terrorism, war, fear, hatred, and why the world we were just starting to know was coming to an end. The room was quiet, not sure how to react, not sure what to react to. We spent an hour asking questions, who, what, where, when, and the question no one could answer...why? I remember going home to find my mom sitting on the couch, watching the Twin Towers fall over and over again. Every channel replayed the proof that America, my home, my world, my once safe haven, was no longer safe, no longer what I thought it was. Now, remember this is before I learned world history, this is before I understand war, and this is way before I was able to form an opinion.
1 May 2011! But now, almost ten years later, the child ideal I held on september 11, 2001 are back and screaming, USA...USA...USA! As I sat in my dormroom with my roommates I couldn't help but smile. It's morbid to delight in the death of another man, but lets be real. Osama Bin Laden was no man, he was a demon, satanist, but more importantly a terrorist! America doesn't negotiate with terrorist, we take no prisoners! I have always been a supporter of the war. If you don't stand for something, you fall for anything. America stands for freedom, and agaisnt terrorist acts, so we fihgt to uphold those values. I believe that even if you don't support the war, you support the men fighting that war. Those men and women are fighting for each one of us. Fighting for the values that makes this country so great, and if you disagree with America being teh greating country on earth, then there's the door. I will gladly pay for your plane ticket to any other country, but you have to promise me this one minor thing...don't ever come back, don't even follow our story or claim our glory, no longer call yourself an American, find your own heiratage! For I am not Italain, German, Polish, Czechoslovakian, or Irish, those are the heiratage of my ancestors, I am American and damn proud! As a supporter of my soldiers, the men and women who selfishlessly fight and die for me and you! So, thank you! The Navy, Army, Airforce, Marines, Coast Guards, Marines, National Guard, and the ROCT boys (who are willing and ready to fight), Thank You and God Bless!!!!!
Love,
Land of the free and home of the brave...don't mess with America!
9-11! It was a warm day, but something seemed off. I was in the forth grade and I didn't understand what was wrong, but I knew that something was not right. My peers were being called out of class one by one, not returning, they were being sent home. The playground was empty, and almost half of my class was gone. The teachers were having private meetings in the halls and whispers filled the classrooms. No one would share the secret that would bond us for the next ten years, possible more. After returning from lunch my teacher, Mrs. Morgan stood in front of the classroom fearful of her next words. She struggled to find the words to tell twenty ten year olds what tragic has just occurred. Understanding what terrorism, war, fear, hatred, and why the world we were just starting to know was coming to an end. The room was quiet, not sure how to react, not sure what to react to. We spent an hour asking questions, who, what, where, when, and the question no one could answer...why? I remember going home to find my mom sitting on the couch, watching the Twin Towers fall over and over again. Every channel replayed the proof that America, my home, my world, my once safe haven, was no longer safe, no longer what I thought it was. Now, remember this is before I learned world history, this is before I understand war, and this is way before I was able to form an opinion.
1 May 2011! But now, almost ten years later, the child ideal I held on september 11, 2001 are back and screaming, USA...USA...USA! As I sat in my dormroom with my roommates I couldn't help but smile. It's morbid to delight in the death of another man, but lets be real. Osama Bin Laden was no man, he was a demon, satanist, but more importantly a terrorist! America doesn't negotiate with terrorist, we take no prisoners! I have always been a supporter of the war. If you don't stand for something, you fall for anything. America stands for freedom, and agaisnt terrorist acts, so we fihgt to uphold those values. I believe that even if you don't support the war, you support the men fighting that war. Those men and women are fighting for each one of us. Fighting for the values that makes this country so great, and if you disagree with America being teh greating country on earth, then there's the door. I will gladly pay for your plane ticket to any other country, but you have to promise me this one minor thing...don't ever come back, don't even follow our story or claim our glory, no longer call yourself an American, find your own heiratage! For I am not Italain, German, Polish, Czechoslovakian, or Irish, those are the heiratage of my ancestors, I am American and damn proud! As a supporter of my soldiers, the men and women who selfishlessly fight and die for me and you! So, thank you! The Navy, Army, Airforce, Marines, Coast Guards, Marines, National Guard, and the ROCT boys (who are willing and ready to fight), Thank You and God Bless!!!!!
Love,
Land of the free and home of the brave...don't mess with America!
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Playlist Round 2!
"Emotions"-Destiny's Child
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xWKdMmH0B-E
I know, it's old school but I love! And you have to go old school to convey the emotions you feel. Even though this song talks about a cheating boyfriend, I feel that the soulful attitude of the song expresses the way I feel. I hate English and writing papers. I feel that the sorrowful mood of the song shows my feelings and epic disappointment towards English class.
"Where are you Chrismas?"-Faith Hill
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nmGSHZYZ74c
You've heard of Chrismas in July, but what's wrong with Chrismas in April? The joy of Chrismas should be with us year round and not just one month out of the year. Well this joy you feel around the holidays should guide you through life. This class is slowly draining me of the joy. I was looking forward to this class and even the daunting research paper. However, with each new assignment leads me to question my desire and love for this topic/assignment. I just need a little motivation, a light at the end of the tunnel because I've have way through the tunnel and there is no light to be seen. I'm being guided by shadows and fear that the light, if there is light, at the end of the tunnel will be blinding and everything I thought was real, ended up being a lie. (Plato's Allegory of the Cave). So as we grow up lets not lose the joy of children at Chrismas but gain a new respect and understanding of the day.
"Not Afraid" -Eminem
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j5-yKhDd64s
I'm not afraid is an anthem for our generation. We not longer fear the same fears as our parents and previous generations, but we have found our own. However, unlike dividing like previous generations, we bond together and face the scary unknown together. With my friends and fellow class mates I and more importantly WE will strive and achieve greatness. Greatness for this class is passing and not leaving behind our sanity. I freak out until I get post on my blogs from fellow writers staring the same pains I express. But with Katie and Sidney as my rocks, I know this quarter will be great and my fears even though they don't disappear they are lessened. This song also talks about taking a stand against the mainstream, I feel that my topic of Capital Punishment is doing the same.
"The Green Mile" -Movie
The Green Mile is about a man on death row. The guards believe the death penalty is a just punishment and are happy to do their jobs in providing justice.
"Back of my hand"-Down with Webster
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GtfIu4d-TY8
This song talks about knowing someone like the back of their hand and then just out of the blue changing. I felt like I knew my topic and the direction in which I wanted to move towards but now I don't know. I'm confused and stressed and this class/assignment has turned out to be something I no longer understand.
Love,
Music speaks when you can't!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xWKdMmH0B-E
I know, it's old school but I love! And you have to go old school to convey the emotions you feel. Even though this song talks about a cheating boyfriend, I feel that the soulful attitude of the song expresses the way I feel. I hate English and writing papers. I feel that the sorrowful mood of the song shows my feelings and epic disappointment towards English class.
"Where are you Chrismas?"-Faith Hill
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nmGSHZYZ74c
You've heard of Chrismas in July, but what's wrong with Chrismas in April? The joy of Chrismas should be with us year round and not just one month out of the year. Well this joy you feel around the holidays should guide you through life. This class is slowly draining me of the joy. I was looking forward to this class and even the daunting research paper. However, with each new assignment leads me to question my desire and love for this topic/assignment. I just need a little motivation, a light at the end of the tunnel because I've have way through the tunnel and there is no light to be seen. I'm being guided by shadows and fear that the light, if there is light, at the end of the tunnel will be blinding and everything I thought was real, ended up being a lie. (Plato's Allegory of the Cave). So as we grow up lets not lose the joy of children at Chrismas but gain a new respect and understanding of the day.
"Not Afraid" -Eminem
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j5-yKhDd64s
I'm not afraid is an anthem for our generation. We not longer fear the same fears as our parents and previous generations, but we have found our own. However, unlike dividing like previous generations, we bond together and face the scary unknown together. With my friends and fellow class mates I and more importantly WE will strive and achieve greatness. Greatness for this class is passing and not leaving behind our sanity. I freak out until I get post on my blogs from fellow writers staring the same pains I express. But with Katie and Sidney as my rocks, I know this quarter will be great and my fears even though they don't disappear they are lessened. This song also talks about taking a stand against the mainstream, I feel that my topic of Capital Punishment is doing the same.
"The Green Mile" -Movie
The Green Mile is about a man on death row. The guards believe the death penalty is a just punishment and are happy to do their jobs in providing justice.
"Back of my hand"-Down with Webster
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GtfIu4d-TY8
This song talks about knowing someone like the back of their hand and then just out of the blue changing. I felt like I knew my topic and the direction in which I wanted to move towards but now I don't know. I'm confused and stressed and this class/assignment has turned out to be something I no longer understand.
Love,
Music speaks when you can't!
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